Minnie VanQuick and Funny

This year I made my Christmas wreath out of Franklin Fir branches. I really like a wreath of Franklin.
What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook? Wet feet!
What do postal workers do when they’re mad? They stamp their feet.
“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.”

“That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” Well, “It’s Not Unusual.”

Odds On Life Saver

Do NOT ride in automobiles: they cause 20% of all fatal accidents.

Do NOT stay home: 17% of all accidents do occur in the home.

Do NOT walk on the streets or sidewalks: 14% of all accidents happen to pedestrians.

Do NOT travel by air, rail, or water: 16% of all accidents happen on these.

Only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are related to previous physical disorders.

Hence, the safest place for you to be at any time is church. [Bible study is safe, too. The percentage there is even less.]

Go to church! IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!

Count on IT

A patient was at her doctor’s office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, “I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live.”

The patient asked, “Oh doctor, what should I do?”

The doctor replied, “Marry an accountant.”

“Will that make me live longer?” asked the patient.

“No,” said the doctor, “but it will SEEM longer.”

Coming Clean for Breakfast

Joe: “This morning my dad gave me soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.”

Sam: “I bet you were mad.”

Joe: “Mad? I was foaming at the mouth!”

The story behind the song, ” Where’s the Line to see Jesus”.as told by Steve Haupt:

“While at the mall last year, my 4 year old grandson saw kids lined up excitedly to see Santa Claus. Having been taught as a toddler that Christmas is the holiday that Christians celebrate the birth of God’s son, with the innocence of a child, he asked his mom, “where’s the line to see Jesus”? If Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, why don’t we see Him more? As his grandpa, I was so happy that little Spencer understood the meaning of Christmas at such a tender age, and then the words for a song were jotted down in just a few minutes. The song was inspired by my grandson, and the message was inspired by my Savior. Out of the mouths of babes come profound truths that many adults can not understand. Hopefully Spencer’s observation and our song will cause people to reflect on the love of Jesus, and the certainty that one day we will all stand in line to see Jesus. Merry Christmas everyone.”
Lyrics to the song,
” Where’s the Line to see Jesus”.
Christmas time was approaching
Snow was starting to fall
Shoppers choosing their presents
People filling the mall
Children waiting for Santa
With excitement and glee
A Little boy tugged my sweater
Looked up and asked me,
[chorus:]
“Where’s the line to see Jesus?
Is He here at the store?
If Christmas time is His birthday,
Why don’t we see Him more?
Where’s the line to see Jesus?
He was born for me.
Santa Clause brought me presents,
But Christ gave His life for Me.”

As I stood in amazement
At this message profound
I looked down to thank him
He was no where around.
A little boy at he mall
Might as well had had wings
As the tears filled my eyes
I thought I heard him sing:
[chorus:]
“Where’s the line to see Jesus?
Is He here at the store?
If Christmas time is His birthday,
Why don’t we see Him more?
Where’s the line to see Jesus?
He was born for me.
Santa Clause brought me presents,
But Christ gave His life for me.”
In the blink of an eye,
At the sound of His trump’t,
We’ll all stand in line at His throne.
Every knee shall bow down.
Every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.
[chorus:]
Where’s the line to see Jesus?
Is He here at the store?
If Christmas time is His birthday,
Why don’t we see Him more?
Where’s the line to see Jesus?
He was born for me.
Santa Clause brought me presents,
But Christ gave His life for me.