Random Robby Ramblings


I avoid stairs. They’re always up to something.

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

Why did the baby chick cross the road? To meet up with her Peeps

What did the mama rabbit say to the baby rabbit when she snuck a look at her Easter basket? No Peep-ing.

Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck? Because he kept quacking the eggs

Where does the Easter Bunny study medicine? Johns Hopkins

How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur in place? With hare spray

What do you call an Easter Bunny wearing a kilt? Hopscotch

How can you tell which rabbits are oldest in a group? Just look for the gray hares.

If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, take the spoon out of the cup.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.


Easter Light


Three men tragically died in a car accident and found themselves at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter told them, “You may be glad to know that, because there aren’t a lot of people qualifying for admission these days, we’ve lowered the standards. Just tell me the meaning of Easter, and you’re in.”
The first guy says, “Easter is when we decorate a tree, sing carols, and Santa brings us presents…”
St. Peter says, “That’s Christmas. You take the elevator over there and press the Down button.”
The second guy says, “Easter is when we have a parade, have picnics, politicians make speeches, at night we shoot off fireworks…”
St. Peter groaned, “That’s not even a religious holiday, that’s American Independence Day. You go with the other guy.”
The third man solemnly intoned, “The story of Easter is how our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, was crucified on the Cross. He suffered, died, and was put in the tomb and a great stone rolled across the entrance. But on the third day, Easter Morning, he rose from the dead. The stone was rolled away, and… um… Jesus came out, saw his shadow, and we had six more weeks of winter!”

~ Pastors work extra hard on their Easter sermons. After all, on Easter, nobody wants to lay an egg.

Easter Mishap


One Easter morning a man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead.

The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

“I feel terrible,” he explained, “I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do? “

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.

Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!!!!

The man was astonished.

He said to the woman, “What in heaven’s name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?”

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label.

It said: “Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave.”

THE BARBER


After twenty years of shaving himself every morning, a man in a small Southern town decided he had enough. He told his wife that he intended to let the local barber shave him each day. He put on his hat and coat and went to the barber shop. It was owned by the pastor of the town’s Baptist Church. The barber’s wife, her name was Grace, she was working that day, so she performed the task. Grace shaved him and sprayed him with lilac water, and said, “That will be $60.” The man thought the price was a bit high, but he paid the bill and went to work.

The next morning the man looked in the mirror, and his face was as smooth as it had been when he left the barber shop the day before. Not bad, he thought. At least I don’t need to get a shave every day. The next morning, the man’s face was still smooth. Two weeks later, the man was still unable to find any trace of whiskers on his face. It was more than he could take, so he returned to the barber shop.

This time only the Pastor was there so the man said, “I thought $60 was high for a shave”, he told the Pastor, “but your wife did an amazing job. It’s been two weeks and my whiskers still haven’t started growing back.”

The expression on the Pastor’s face didn’t even change, expecting his comment. He responded, ” Oh, you were shaved by Grace and once shaved, always shaved!”

Ah Nuts


The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah’s Ark, so the preschool teacher in church decided to get her small pupils involved by playing a game in which they identified animals.

“I’m going to describe something to you. Let’s see if you can guess what it is. First: I’m furry with a bushy tail and I like to climb trees.”

The children looked at her blankly.

“I also like to eat nuts, especially acorns.”

No response. This wasn’t going well at all!

“I’m usually brown or grey, but sometimes I can be black or red.”

Desperate, the teacher turned to a perky four-year-old who was usually good about coming up with the answers.

“Michelle, what do you think?”

Michelle looked hesitantly at her classmates and replied, “Well, I know the answer has to be Jesus — but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!”

The Empty Egg: Miss Millie’s Easter Surprise”


Miss Millie was 92 years old and had lived at Sunny Acres Assisted Living for nearly a decade. Her hair was always pinned up just right, her clothes always pastel, and her smile—though quiet—always seemed to hold a story.

Each Easter, the staff would host a simple egg hunt. Colorful plastic eggs were hidden around the garden courtyard—not for racing children, but for the residents who strolled with walkers and wheelchairs, picking up joy one egg at a time.This year, however, Miss Millie asked if she could help hide the eggs instead. The staff agreed, handing her a basket full of shiny plastic eggs filled with candies and Bible verses.

But when the hunt was over, one egg was left unopened. It was tucked inside a flower pot near the bench where Miss Millie loved to sit and hum old hymns. A young nurse found it and brought it to her.

“Miss Millie,” she said gently, “we found one last egg—did you want to open it?”

Miss Millie took the egg, turned it over in her wrinkled hands, and cracked it open.

It was empty.

The nurse looked confused. “Oh, dear… did we miss filling this one?”

Miss Millie smiled softly. “No, dear. That one’s just right.”

She looked out at the blooming tulips, the cross-shaped flower bed, and the bright morning sun.

“You see,” she said, “on that first Easter morning, the greatest surprise of all was an empty tomb. And now, every year, I hide one empty egg to remind us all that Jesus is alive. Death didn’t win. The tomb was empty… and so is this little egg.”

The nurse wiped a tear from her eye. “That’s beautiful, Miss Millie.”

Miss Millie nodded and whispered, “He is risen.”

And from across the garden, a few voices echoed back, steady and sure:

“He is risen indeed.”