Random Robby Ramblings

I started a boat business in the attic.The sails are going through the roof

What do you call a boat full of polite football players?A good sportsman ship

Before the surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle… It was an ether/oar situation.

A girl I wanted to date said I had the face like the back of a boat. I didn’t reply, but I gave her a stern look.

So, why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.

Did you know you can wear any boat as a hat? You just have to turn it upside down to make it cap sized.

What did Dracula name his boat? The Blood Vessel

I’m sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice. .My gondolences

I once made a small boat out of a large bell. It was a little dingy

How did the pirate afford such a big boat? 

Alright — let’s launch into the deep end with some long-form boat jokes. These aren’t just quick one-liners; they’re the kind that start calm, gather a breeze, and sail into a punchline.

A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California…

The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, “Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?”

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, “We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s.”

The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, “Just the four of you?”

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, “No, we’re the last four. The rest are already there!

A man decided to sail his boat from England to Russia

He starts his journey and everything is going great. That is, until he’s passing Germany’s northern coast. His ship begins taking on water and, in a panic, he radios the German Coast Guard.
“Help!” He says through the radio.
“Vat is it?” The German Coast Guard replies.
“I’m sinking!” The man says back.
The radio goes silent for a moment before the Coast Guard replies,
“Vell, vat are you sinking about?”

Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 81, your two hour rental period is up, please return to the dock.

Boat rental intern to manager: uh, sir, we only have 60 boats.

Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 18, do you require assistance?

The Pirate and the New Crewman
A young man joins a pirate ship and notices the captain has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch.
“Captain, how’d you get the peg leg?”
“Ah, lad, I lost me leg in a battle when a cannonball took it clean off.”
“And the hook?”
“Lost me hand to a sword fight with the Royal Navy.”
“And your eye?”
“Seagull droppings, lad.”
The young man frowns. “Seagull droppings? How could that make you lose an eye?”
The captain sighs. “It was me first day with the hook.”

Alright — let’s weigh anchor and go for a boat devotion

“When Jesus Is in the Boat”
Mark 4:35–41

It was evening on the Sea of Galilee, and Jesus had just finished a full day of teaching. Crowds had pressed Him from every side, hungry for words of life. And then He turned to His disciples and said something so simple: “Let us go over to the other side.”

They set off — seasoned fishermen at the oars, the familiar rocking of the boat beneath them, the gentle lap of water on the hull. But Galilee is known for storms that sneak up like uninvited guests. Cold air from the mountains crashes into the warm air over the lake, and before long, the sky can be roaring.

That’s exactly what happened. The wind picked up, waves rose higher, and the boat began to take on water. And here’s the detail that gets me: some of these men were expert sailors. They had seen rough weather before. But this storm was bad enough that even they thought they were going to die.

And where was Jesus?
Sleeping.
On a cushion.
In the stern.

They woke Him up with a cry that sounds a lot like ours in the middle of our own storms: “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

We’ve all been there — maybe not in a wooden boat on Galilee, but in the middle of a marriage breaking apart, a doctor’s diagnosis, a financial freefall, a grief so deep it steals your breath. We’ve all prayed something that sounds like, “Don’t You care if I go under?”

But watch what Jesus does. He stands up — in a rocking boat, in a raging storm — and speaks to the wind and waves like they’re unruly children: “Peace! Be still!” And just like that, the water smooths out like glass.

Then He turns to the disciples and asks, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

Now here’s the part we often miss:
When Jesus said “Let us go to the other side”, it wasn’t a suggestion — it was a promise. His word was as sure as His presence. The disciples heard it as an instruction, but it was also a guarantee: “We are going to the other side.”

Application for us:

  1. Storms don’t mean absence – Jesus was in the boat the whole time. Your circumstances don’t determine His presence.
  2. Fear distorts perspective – The disciples were looking at the waves instead of the Word. Faith means looking at Him even when the wind howls.
  3. His word is as strong as His power – If He says we’re going to the other side, nothing — no storm, no wind, no wave — can stop it.

Maybe right now you feel the spray of water in your face, you hear the wind screaming in your ears, and your boat feels small. But the same Jesus who spoke peace into Galilee’s storm is in your boat.

And here’s the anchor truth:
You’re not just going through the storm — you’re going with Him.

So breathe. Trust His word. And remember: the boat can’t sink if the Master is in it.