Random Robby Ramblings for July 9

You know it’s July when your seatbelt becomes a branding iron.

I like my burgers like I like my fireworks: slightly overdone and alarming to my neighbors.

Flip flops: the only shoes that slap back.

Fireworks are like toddlers: loud, unpredictable, and someone always ends up crying.

I bought a watermelon. Now I’m just waiting for the ants to RSVP.

Fireworks are like toddlers: loud, unpredictable, and someone always ends up crying.

What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach?Flop-Flops

I sneaked onto a beach early this morning.The coast was clear.

Sand: nature’s glitter… and just as hard to get rid of.

Nothing says freedom like standing in traffic for an hour to watch ten minutes of explosions.

Scientist keep finding broom sticks all over beaches. Due to sand-witches

A Jewish grandmother is walking on the beach with her grandson…

Suddenly, a rogue wave comes in and sweeps the grandson out to sea. Distraught, the grandmother looks to the sky and says, “Oh god, i have always been true and faithful to you. Please bring my grandson back.” And with that, another wave comes in and deposits the grandson safely on the shore. The grandmother once again looks to the sky and says, “He had a hat.”

I woke up on a beach.

Every, and I mean everything was dark red.
The trees. The sand. The water. It was all dark red.

I yelled, “I’ve been marooned!”

I saw a man at the beach yelling “Help, shark! Help!”

I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.

Did you hear about the thousands of laundry machines that were found on the beach?

They washed a shore…

What type of eagle do you see at a beach? A seagull.

The beach is very confident… …in fact its 100% shore.

What washes up on small beaches? Microwaves

Why did the beach get wet?… Because the seeweed.

It’s so hot this summer… The Halloween candy at Walmart is starting to melt.

As a teenager I had a summer job pumping gas….

As a teenager I had a summer job pumping gas. One week an older guy drove up and said he wanted a fill-up. Then he got out of the car with an umbrella, opened it, and followed me around as I worked, holding the umbrella over my head to keep the sun off me. I awkwardly thanked him as he paid his tab and drove away.

A week later, he came back for a fill up. Again, he got out of the car with the umbrella and opened it, but this time he just stood there watching me work. I asked, “So you’re not gonna use that to keep the sun off me this time?” and he retorted, “Watch it, young man. Fuel me once, shade on you. Fuel me twice, shade on me!”

What do you call a bear that likes to spend his summers at the north pole and his winters at the south?

a bi-polar bear.

Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip.

“We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota.”
The teacher asked, “Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?”

Little Johnny thought for a few seconds and said, “Actually, we went to Ohio.”

For You Rockers ou there Where does cantaloupe go for summer vacation?

John Cougar’s Melon Camp.

A Nieve teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman”

She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. “Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he said, “How much will you charge me?” Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?” The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage. The man’s wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?” He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?” The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb teenager jokes we’ve reading on Facebook lately.” Later that day, the teenager came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” the startled husband asked. “Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip. “And, by the way,” the teenager added, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”

Devotional for July: “God’s Faithfulness in the Heat of Life”

Scripture: “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night shall not cease.”
— Genesis 8:22 (ESV)

Welcome & Warm-Up Thought:

Good morning, everyone!
I hope you’re feeling the joy of another summer day — maybe not quite the heat, thank the Lord for air conditioning — but at least the light, the brightness, and the memories of what summertime used to mean.

Do you remember the sound of cicadas at night? Or children chasing fireflies? Maybe you remember sitting on a porch swing with a tall glass of sweet tea, listening to the grownups talk while the sun sank low behind the trees.

Summer holds so many memories — weddings, cookouts, family reunions, watermelon slices, fireworks, barefoot kids, and hymns sung under revival tents. And the older I get, the more I realize summer isn’t just a season outside… sometimes it’s a season in the soul.

Devotional Message: “The Middle Season”

Summer is the middle season of the year.
Not the beginning like spring, when everything is fresh and new.
Not the quiet reflection of fall, or the waiting stillness of winter.
Summer is right in the middle — the time of growing, of tending, of heat, and of fruitfulness.

In the same way, God often meets us in the middle of things.
In the middle of trouble. In the middle of weariness.
In the middle of a long season when we’ve been praying and waiting and wondering when the harvest will come.

Remember what God said after the flood? He made a covenant with Noah — and with all of us — and said:

“As long as the earth remains, there will be seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night…”

He was saying: “You can count on Me. I don’t change. My faithfulness will come around like the seasons.”
Even when the heat is hard and the days feel long, God is still there.

Lessons from the Summer Season:

Let me share three little lessons we can learn from summer:

1. Summer Brings Heat — But Heat Grows Fruit.

The sun is strong, and the days can be long… but it’s that very heat that ripens the tomatoes, sweetens the corn, and makes the gardens grow.

Likewise, in our lives, the “heat” — the trials, the challenges, even the long waits — can feel uncomfortable. But sometimes, it’s exactly those seasons that grow our faith the most.
You’ve been through some hot seasons in your life — losses, changes, aches and pains, lonely nights.
But look how you’ve grown. Look at your strength.
God’s been ripening fruit in you.

2. Summer Is a Time to Rest in the Shade.

God didn’t say we had to run around in the sun all day. Even in the garden of Eden, it says the Lord walked with Adam and Eve “in the cool of the day.” (Genesis 3:8)

There’s beauty in resting under His shadow.
Sometimes our bodies slow down, and our pace isn’t what it used to be. That’s okay. It’s not wasted.
There’s great wisdom in learning to sit with the Lord in stillness.
Psalm 91 says:

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”

Summer is a good time to sit under the shade of God’s peace and let your soul breathe.

3. Summer Reminds Us to Keep Looking Up.

Fireworks. Shooting stars. Summer skies.
July has a way of pulling our eyes upward — and that’s not a bad thing.
Colossians 3:2 says:

“Set your minds on things above, not on things on the earth.”

Heaven is ahead.
The harvest is coming.
And the Son still shines.

A Story to Remember: “The Watermelon Testimony”

There was a little country church that hosted a watermelon social every July.
Everyone brought their best fruit, and the kids would spit seeds off the porch for fun.
One year, an elderly woman stood up at the event and shared something beautiful:

She said,

“I planted this watermelon seed in April.
I watered it. I weeded it. I prayed over it.
And now — look what God has done!
I didn’t grow it — He did. I just waited and trusted.”

That’s what faith is in summer: trusting that even when things are slow, or hard, or hot — God is still growing something good.