How do you get rid of Germans fascists? Von by von.

What do French recruits learn in basic training? A: How to surrender in 17 different languages.

How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? A: First, invade ze kitchen.

What kind of tea did the American colonists want? A: Liberty.

What do you call a Blind German during WWII ? A: a Not see

What do you call a building full of Taliban? A: Jail

What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance.

What do you get when you cross a patriotic holiday with a grill? Red, White, and BBQ!

Why did the tomato turn red at the Memorial Day picnic? Because it saw the salad dressing!

The Memorial Day Picknic Chatter –“Grill Sergeant reporting for duty!”

“Let’s meat up later and ketchup on life.” “Lettuce celebrate our heroes — and this potato salad.” “I relish the chance to honor our veterans… and these hot dogs.”

Army Training

I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.

An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come. “Men,” our sergeant yelled, “you’re doing a fine job. We’ve already covered four miles!”

Revitalized, we picked up the pace. “And,” continued Sarge, “we should reach the starting point any minute now.”

Joining The Army

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s office.

There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. “Oh, come on, quit joking,” snickered one. “You didn’t really do that, did you?”

“You would never get through basic training,” scoffed another.

The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, “Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”

Navy Fly Guy

It seems that a young man volunteered for Navy service during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola, skipping boot camp. The very first day at Pensacola, he soloed and was the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.

On his first day aboard, he took off and single-handedly shot down six Japanese zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft., he found nine more Japanese planes and shot them all down, too. Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the carrier, and came in for a perfect landing on the deck.

He threw back the canopy, climbed out, and jogged over to the captain. Saluting smartly, he said, “Well, sir, how did I do on my very first day?”

The captain turned around, bowed, and replied, “You make one velly impoltant mistake!”

Sea The World

After being at sea in the Persian Gulf for 90 straight days, I went to the squadron command master chief to complain. “Chief, I joined the Navy to see the world,” I said, “but for the past three months all I’ve seen is water.”

“Lieutenant,” he replied, “three-quarters of the earth is covered with water, and the Navy has been showing you that. If you wanted to see the other quarter, you should have joined the Army.”

Air Force Branch

The chief of staff of the U.S. Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand-new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked as if they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them.

The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand, and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, “Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?”

The young man looked at him and said, “I’m a pilot!”

The general got all excited, turned to his aide, and said, “Get him in today, all the paperwork done, everything, do it!” The aide hustled the young man off.

The general looked at the second young man and asked, “What skills to you bring to the Air Force?”

The young man said, “I chop wood!”

“Son,” the general replied, “we don’t need wood choppers in the Air Force. What do you know how to do?”

“I chop wood!”

“Young man,” huffed the general, “you are not listening to me. We don’t need wood choppers; this is the 21st century!”

“Well,” the young man said, “you hired my brother!”

“Of course we did,” said the general. “He’s a pilot!”

The young man rolled his eyes and said, “But I have to chop it before he can pile it!”

Air Force Sayings

“You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.” – Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)

“The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.”

There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.” – From an old carrier sailor

“Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.”

“Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.”

Marines


Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay… practically nothing. Men got to shave but it’s not so bad… there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you ’til noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on “route marches,” which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6″ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8″ and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

“Greater Love: A Memorial of Sacrifice”

It was early morning on Memorial Day. The American flag fluttered quietly in the breeze outside a small country church where Pastor Allen prepared for the service. Each year, he placed a white rose on the altar in memory of his older brother, Thomas—a soldier who never came home from Vietnam.

As the congregation gathered, veterans in faded uniforms took their seats, families clutching photos of loved ones gone too soon. There was a reverent stillness—an honoring silence that spoke louder than words.

Pastor Allen stepped up to the pulpit, holding his worn Bible. “Today,” he began, “we remember. We remember the brave men and women who gave everything for our freedom. We honor their memory. But as Christians, we also look to the One who gave His life for an even greater freedom.”

He read from John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

He paused, eyes lingering on the cross behind him. “Our freedom in Christ was purchased at the highest price—His blood. Jesus laid down His life not just for a nation, but for the whole world. For you. For me.”

Then he told the story of his brother Thomas. “He wasn’t a preacher. He didn’t quote Scripture much. But he believed in defending others. Before he left, he gave me a dog tag engraved with just one word: ‘Love.’ That’s what drove him. That’s what drives every true sacrifice.”

Tears welled up in the eyes of the congregation. One veteran, weathered by war and life, nodded slowly. He knew that kind of love.

Pastor Allen closed the message with this prayer:
“Lord, thank You for those who gave their lives for our country. May we never forget their sacrifice. And thank You, Jesus, for giving Your life so we could live eternally. Help us live in such a way that honors both.”

That day, as taps played and wreaths were laid, hearts were stirred not only by patriotism—but by a deeper hope.
The kind of hope found in a tomb that couldn’t hold Love.
A memorial not just of the fallen, but of the Risen.