Robby’s Third Grade Humor for July 23, 2014

Texting Senior Style
We all know that text messaging started out as something only kids would do. Now, a decade or two later, however, senior citizens are texting each other furiously. All that senior texting got us wondering… what’s the “private language” that seniors are using?
Here are our suggestions for senior texting acronyms
* ATD- At the Doctor’s

* BTW- Bring the Wheelchair

* CBM- Covered by Medicare

* CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center

* FWIW – Forgot Where I Was
*FWB: Friend With Betablockers

* GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

* GHA – Got Heartburn Again

* LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out

* LOL- Living on Lipitor
*ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up

* WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?
* GGLKI – Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!
** Blessed are those who resist temptation at the smorgasbord, for they shall be buffeted.

** Blessed are those who shop, for they shall be spent.

** Blessed are those who drill, for they shall not be bored.

** Blessed are bald men, for they shall not have toupee for hair cuts.

** Blessed are the dermatologists, for they shall not be rash.

** Blessed are the neurologists, for they shall have a lot of nerve.

** Blessed are the obstetricians, for their labors shall not be in vain.

** Blessed are the ophthalmologists, for they shall not be shortsighted.

** Blessed are the podiatrists, for they shalt have a leg to stand on.

** Blessed are the taxidermists, for they shall know their stuff.

** Blessed are those who cook, for they shall be at home on the range.

** Blessed are those who are a little cracked, for the Redeeming Light pours through them.

** Blessed are those who sing in the choir, for they shall be noted.

** Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

** Blessed is the chicken that crossed the road, for she shall be poultry in motion.

** Blessed are those who sing, for they shall find the key.
God’s Message to Man and Women
by Dianna Hagee
When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being.
When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils.
But you woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man
because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come
over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.
Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity.
From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects his heart
and his lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone I shaped you.
I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully.
Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile.
You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart.
His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of
life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow
damage to the heart.
Support the man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken
from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be
above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be
held close to his side.

You are My perfect angel. You are My beautiful little girl.
You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence,
and My eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart.
Your eyes – don’t change them.
Your lips – how lovely when they part in prayer.
Your nose, so perfect in form, your hands so gentle in touch.
I’ve caressed your face in your deepest sleep;
I’ve held your heart close to mine.
Of all that lives and breathes, you are the most like Me. Adam walked
with Me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see
Me or touch Me. He could only feel Me.
So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with Me,
I fashioned in you:
My holiness, My strength, My purity, My love, My protection and
support. You are special because you are the extension of Me.
Man represents My image, woman My emotions.
Together you represent the totality of God.
So man – treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for
she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt Me. What you do to her, you
do to Me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart,
the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father.
Woman, support man. In humility,
show him the power of emotion I have given you.
In gentle quietness show your strength. In love, show him
that you are the rib that protects his inner self.