Great Mother’s Day Funny
So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.
Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.
Last year on Mother’s Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.
We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there sits Eli. Applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack’s…rear end. Eli looks right into my eyes and says “chapped.”
Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right–their little rear ends do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn’t seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat’s behind or the hundredth.
And THAT is my favorite Mother’s Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they’ve been using your chapstick on the cat’s rear.
Son: “Mom can I get twenty bucks” Mom: Does it look like I am made of money Son: “Well isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: “Where’s Popcorn?”
Q: Why is a computer so smart? A: Cause it listens to its motherboard.
Q: What do you call a mom who can’t draw? A: Tracy.
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his mother was a wafer so long!
Q: What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? A: catch up!
Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his mom was in a jam!
Q: What did the momma say to the foal? A: Its pasture your bedtime
Q: What did mommy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web.
Q: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? A: It’s time to go to sweep!
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh yea”..Just you wait.”
Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached? Student: When my mother sees my report card!
My mother gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, she believed in me.
All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar.
The only time your mom smiled when you were crying….. is when you were born.
My mom likes to play this game called “Yell from four rooms away” and get upset when I can’t hear her.
My mom says its her house but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too
At 3 years “Mommy I love you.
At 10 years “Mom whatever”
At 16 years “Mom your so annoying.”
At 18 years “I’m leaving this house”.
At 25 years “Mom you were right”.
At 50 years ” I don’t want to lose my Mom.
At 70 years ” I would give up everything to have my mom here with me”.