Q: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
Q: Why do dogs run in circles?
A: Because its hard to run in squares!
Q: What kind of horses go out after dusk?
A mechanic was working under a car and some brake fluid dripped into his mouth.
“Wow! That stuff isn’t too bad tasting,” he thought.
The next day, he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid. “It was pretty good, really. I think I’ll have a little more today.”
His friend was a little concerned, but didn’t say anything.
The next day, “Hey, I drank a whole glass of brake fluid. Great stuff! I’m going to have more.”
A few days later, he was up to a bottle a day.
“You know,” said his buddy, “that brake fluid is poison and really bad for you. You better cut out drinking that stuff.”
“Hey, no problem. I can stop any time!”
A Sunday School teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and they mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat, one boy (the oldest of a family of seven) answered, “Thou shalt not kill.”
At the day-care center where I work, some of the children were telling me about their siblings. “My brother takes horseback-riding lessons,” bragged one. “My sister takes gymnastics,” said another.
Not to be outdone, the youngest piped up, “My sister takes antibiotics!”
A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified.
One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; subsequently the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.
Climb Every Mountain:
Johann Strauss was an avid mountain climber who once waltzed himself into deep trouble. He lost his footing and found himself hanging by his fingertips over a bottomless gorge. Another climber heroically came to his rescue and just managed to grab Johann by a strap of his lederhosen to save the Maestro’s life.
Since then, the act of trying to get out of a seemingly hopeless situation has come to be known as grasping at Strauss.
Seven Wonders of The World
A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present “Seven Wonders of the World.” Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:
1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter’s Basilica
7. China’s Great Wall
While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one quiet student hadn’t turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list.
The girl replied, “Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there were so many.”
The teacher said, “Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.”
The girl hesitated, then read, “I think the ‘Seven Wonders of the World’ are:
1. to see
2. to hear
3. to touch
4. to taste
5. to feel
6. to laugh
7. and to love.”
The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
Robby’s Mother’s Testimony written August 2012